" TREK WEST ! "
A Review of Star Trek Attractions on The
West Side of The USA.
By Vince Corani
INTRODUCTION
America,
the home of 'Trek', offers much more to its legions of fans nowadays. For between the 17th of april and the 2nd of
may 1998, I holidayed in Americas west, and visited 2 major attractions for
Trek fans and maybe even non-fans.
Specifically these are Paramount Studios in Los Angeles, California, and
the Star Trek Experience in Las Vegas, Nevada.
But getting to such places is a trek in itself, and there are several
ways to do this. So for the sake of
completeness, and journalistic licence, I will discuss these aspects as
well. I will also state clearly what
one can expect from these attractions, without giving away their surprises, and
to whether they're worth visiting. All
these elements are necessary if you should ever consider going to these areas,
especially as there are many pitfalls along the way that you would be best off
avoiding. There are tricks to learn
here, travel tips for the novice, and money saving ideas. Articles of this sort, both professional and
amateur, do not cover all these aspects.
They also sometimes give misleading information to your detriment!
THE
FERENGI IN THE RED JACKET
I had decided to go to Paramount studios as
soon as I first heard that they ran a tour from a friend about 2 years
ago. However my 2 travelling companions
wanted to visit Universal Studios. I
decided I would go to Paramount when they were at Universal. Incidently, the Universal Studios theme park
is more theme park than a studio! Also,
I had visited the newer and bigger Universal Studios theme park in Florida
1995, so I couldn't see the point in going to the older version, plus queuing
up for hours, and paying 39 dollars, just to see old stuff! Now for a an important travel tip for would
be holiday makers. The situation is
that the tour company you booked your holiday with, will send their holiday rep
to each hotel that houses their customers, ie you. They wear attire and a name plate to be easily recognisable from
other holiday makers and hotel staff.
Ours wore a red jacket, and looked a bit like Voyagers 'Harry Kim'
character - so no ones perfect.
BEWARE
HOLIDAY REPS BEARING GIFTS
If you don't know how to get to any place you
want to visit, or aren't sure what's on offer and other details, you'll find a
wooden rack containing many leaflets advertising what's going down in the
neighbourhood. I spied one for
Paramount studios that included a $2 discount if you brought it with you when
you paid the entrance fee. But when I
asked our rep for some advice regarding this tour, he seemed overly keen at
putting me off going. He said other
holiday makers said to him it wasn't worth going as all you see are empty sets
and old buildings. Although he at least
admitted that he hadn't even been there.
Given that I ended up going there I must say that the people he spoke of
either don't exist, are blind, or went to the wrong place!
But I still needed directions etc as his
company, ie Virgin Atlantic, didn't offer any transportation there. Great I thought. So how about a map of the area its in, as i'd have to make my own
way there. Well, he hadn't any, none
for uptown LA, only one for parts of downtown and the outlying areas. Mister helpful was not his nickname. He also suggested, after another query of
mine, about driving to Sunset Boulevard etc, that we should forget it as its
too complicated and too dangerous. So
he 'advised' us to take his companys' 'Hollywood tour' for about $50. I mention this part not because its Trek
related, because it isn't, but because it ties in with the true picture I saw
while travelling to Paramount studios.
PARAMOUNT
STUDIOS
Paramount studios are located in Hollywood,
LA. In fact they are the very last
major studio left in Hollywood. The
other five major studios have moved to outlying areas around Hollywood, these
being - Warner Bros, 20th Century Fox, Columbia, Universal, and MGM/United
Artists. The company was founded by 5
bankers from the east in the 1920's. It
has won many awards for tv and film. In
fact its just one Oscar behind equalling Columbia's record of 12 oscars. In the mid nineties, soon after its network
channel UPN aired, the media conglomerate Viacom bought the studio for over $3
billion.
The entire Paramount site takes up 68 acres
so it is hard to miss when you near it.
Like most streets in the USA, Paramount studios is on a very long road
called Melrose Avenue. If you approach
it from the east side you'll know what I mean.
Incidentally, between the roads that criss-cross Melrose Ave, you can see
the famous Hollywood letter sign in the distant hills. Most hotels are in the Anaheim area, which
is one of several towns in the city of LA.
These and those downtown, ie in the city centre, are expensive, so I
saved money by going to a hotel in Fullerton, which is another LA town, and
just north of Anaheim. The later town
is where many Sci-fi conventions are held year round.
VOYAGING
FOR BEGINNERS
I will now tell my journey as it happened
since its more interesting that way.
Also, in a strange way my journey is very much a contemporary version of
the Star Trekking journeys that unfold on our screens during an episode of
Trek. Mine of course is non-fictional
and earthbound. But its the exploratory
concept that counts. So in a way my
journey to a major Trek attraction mirrors the missions of Captains Kirk,
Picard, and Janeway. Especially the
later as I'm a foreign to these lands, just like her. Nor do I exactly know what will happen and will need to be done,
at every step of the way. Myself and
Janeway may know our destination and basically the preferred route, but getting
there is easier said than done. My path
like her ships would be skewed, unclear, and uncertain. The lingo may be familiar, but the customs
and traditions are as alien as a lifeform in the Delta.
So my journey could be looked upon
scientifically, as a small-scale trek with all the pitfalls and confusions that
would greet a space explorer in the future.
Just swap the American transport system for interstellar authorities,
and terra-firma for space, and the parallel could be played out in a future
time. In fact I will be.
THE
LONG TREK
By the way, I had to get there before 2.30 pm
as they stop giving tours past then, and I couldn't do the tour on any other
day but that one. So it was a case of
get there today before 2.30 or don't go at all! So I firstly got a map of LA, [most of it]! I couldn't take a cab there as it wold cost
around $60, or œ40. Besides it would
take the journeying experience away. Unfortunately
LA isn't as well designed as say London is regarding transport routes. I so realised i'd had to negotiate my way
through its concrete jungle. By 10.30
am I found a local bus stop, but in what direction should I catch a bus from
it? After nearly making a mistake I
caught one going the right way. 11.00
am. I took it Fullerton High Street and
caught an Amtrak train to LA Grand Union Station, departing 11.30 am.
It had always been an ambition to go on an
Amtrak train so now I was fulfilling more than one ambition while on
route! 12.15 pm. After arriving I then had to find what buses
went where and where I could catch them.
This was extremely confusing! I
finally found one of the 2 buses I needed, 12.45 pm. I got one that takes me near to where I catch the 2nd bus, which
is at a giant crossroads in downtown LA, 1.15 pm. The bus I needed would drive past Paramounts's main entrance, and
by the time I caught this it was 1.30 pm!
So only an hour left before closedown!
So I boarded the bus and then travelled with it through over a dozen
long streets, with mainly latino people for company. 1.45 pm. I then noticed
that these LA buses are extremely slow.
They move at around 15 mph, and less when up
hill! 2.00 pm! Then the driver kept stoping at bus stops
when no one requested it, and when no one got on! 2.08pm. Then a woman
asked the driver to fix a lighting cover panel that had been jarred loose 10 minutes
ago! No don't do it I said to myself,
forget it, let the bus go to hell, but get me to the studio on time! But he stops to fix it! 2.11 pm.
Shortly after moving off I spot it, ship ahoy, Paramount studios bearing
123 mark 45. I get off, stride down
Melrose Ave, strut into security, panting, and ask for a tour ticket. Its now 2.15 pm, hooray, I made it by 15
mins! I then fell flat on my back from
stress and exhaustion. Well I didn't
actually, but in my mind I did.
WHERE
IT ALL STARTED
So I was there, just. After walking through the security office
you first wait awhile on some benches with other tourers. Opposite is a fairly big merchandise shop
which is where you also buy your ticket for $15. You are then taken around the studio grounds by an official tour
guide. This lasts 2 hrs. After their introduction, you visit
Paramounts own premiere cinema costing $7,000,000, and take a seat. The foyer of which is where some of 'the
fugitive' film was shot. Along the way
the guide points out other historical movie trivia like this building was where
Douglas Fairbanks stayed, these flats are where studio stars like Bob Hope etc
used to live, the offices there are where the directors and producers work, or
those gates there were the ones used in the film Sunset Boulevard.
You entered the main area through these. But you couldn't take pictures beyond
it. Only before it, like of the gates,
the cinema, the anniversary fountain, and the actual bench that Forrest Gump
sat on. So I did. Inside the main area the guide walks you
through every important alley, like the so-called 'star trek alley', I wonder
why they call it that? They point out
the studio where Fraiser is filmed, [and before that Cheers], and which is
called the 'lucky studio'. We also are
walked through the prop dept, during which a man dressed as a Bajorian monk
walked past! Holy-smoke. Later while walking down another alley I
spotted a Cardassian in a black t-shirt sitting on a bench. It was Marc Alaimo alias Gul Dukat of
DS9. So on Starfleet orders I shot
him!
When walking past the carpentry section a
workshop contained a man painting a Klingon chair, while another one was left
drying. And there was me thinking they
replicated them! You see this is were
the Federation makes its money - by doing painting & decorating jobs for
the Klingon empire! Later we saw 3 or 4
open studios but were told not to enter, otherwise we'd be ejected for
trespassing! In fact a blue shirted
security guard stood in every studio doorway along star trek alley. We were allowed though to peer in for a few
minutes. As a result I did see what a
Starfleet shuttle really looked like - mainly pinewood, plastic, and
screws. Well on the outside that
is. The best view though, a real scoop,
was seeing a set from the new film - ST9: Insurrection.
"WE'RE
NOT IN KANSAS ANY MORE TOTO"
It was as big as the Enterprise D's
bridge. It looked like a alien starship
bridge. It had several chairs, was
carpeted, had an upper platform at the rear, and some control panels. This upper platform though was very much
raised. I thought it was actually out
of proportion by being too high. We'll
have to look for this set when we see the ninth film. Later on I was also offered, with my tour party, the chance to be
amongst the audience for the talk show 'Leeza', which is recorded there live,
and shown on Channel 5 here. So I said
yes. I'm that kind'a guy you see, I'm a
'yes man'. The show was about surviving
catastrophes, like an avalanche. If you
ever see it, I was the guy in the black shirt and the dazed expression, with wandering
eyes that were saying where's Beverly Crusher?
The host Leeza Gibbons is quite pretty and
quite short, although she probably had an easier journey than me to get
here! As the show was rapped, it was
time to leave the foundry that produces the product we know as Star Trek. But as the tour came to an end, everybody go
arhhh, and while we were walking towards the main gate, I saw a familiar man
flanked by 2 guys in suits. By the time
he passed me at 1 metre away, the guide had pointed out the man as Ted
Danson! Yes it was Sam Malone from the
bar 'where everybody know your name'.
All I needed was a coke bottle and I could'a said to him 'cheers', or
'mines a pint of bud'. It was a big
treat for me as Cheers is my favourite sitcom.
I should have remembered that it was filmed on the other side of Star
Trek alley, where Fraiser is shot now in fact, but I overlooked this in the
heat of Trek.
I was told he was here to help create a new
sitcom for Paramount, that he'll be co-producing and staring in. Its called 'Becker' I'm told, and apparently
DS9's Terry 'dax' Farrell will also be staring in it. But I wonder, would her Symbiont get joint billing?
THE
VOYAGE HOME
All I now had to do now was get back home to
the hotel. It was about 6.30 pm. Does anyone have a phaser I could
borrow? I was hungry by now as well and
the studios' canteen had closed 30 mins ago.
The tour guide recommended a nearby burger-bar. So I went there. Its straight down Melrose Ave as you exit right from the main
gate, a 5 min walk. Its called
Astro-burger and has a award certificate outside for quality food. So I tried it out and found its reputation
well deserved. Also the ice cubes in
the Rootbeer I bought served as an excellent way to cool off, when you caress
them across the back of your neck. Yes
it was hot. The holiday brochure said
it could get upto the early 80's F at the most. But due to the el-nino effect the locale was caught in a
heatwave. The result being a
temperature of 95 F degrees!
Finding
the right bus back was difficult, then finding what direction to get it in was
just as difficult. Their timetables etc
were prone to disinformation if anything.
[now what were my last known transporter coordinates]? When I finally got to the City Centre, in
the dusk heat, I was directed to an underground terminal garage, I was
told! Little did I know that it
actually was a subway train station! I
couldn't believe it. How could an
earthquake city build an underground railway!
So I caught it to Grand Union Station.
The ticket queue was too long so I used an automated touch screen ticket
dispenser. It was the nearest thing on
the whole trip to the bridge consoles on the Enterprise.
However I got it all refunded when I found
the next train departed over a hour from now!
I didn't want to wait that long in a strange city approaching
darkness. Besides, my 2 friends back at
the hotel might have thought I'd been murdered while traversing gangland. Yes, I could have been iced by a couple of
hoods from downtown, for cruising on their turf - whatever that means! So I caught a mini-bus back for the rest of
the way. But after I was dropped of
near my hotel, and as I approached the hotel entrance, while walking across the
car park, I met my 2 friends who had just left our room, and were about to
visit a local restaurant. As for my
earlier point over the problems the tour rep spoke of, I couldn't see any of it
being true! For I travelled alone
through the heart of LA for hours and encountered no crime whatsoever, and the
so-called complicated street layouts were actually simple and straight
forward. Anyway, I was now back from my
long trek to Paramount. It was 10.30 pm
at night, so I'd been out for half a day, an I felt more drained than a dilithium
crystal run at warp 9.9!
ALL
GOOD THINGS...
After a fortnight along the West Coast and a
long day in the hinterland, the only thing left to do was the plane flight
back, all 12 hours of it! Overall the
whole trips worth the money. I
recommend the 'Paramount pictures' studio tour in LA, and also the 'star trek
experience' in LV. I don't recommend
Holiday Reps, the food too much, and LA's public transport system, assuming
there is one. Oh and by the way, if
your'e having a funeral and you need a good hearse driver, just ask an LA bus
company if you can hire one of their drivers!
Vince Corani MCMXCVII